chapter xxxi: myeck's immigrant uncle

part i: wonder bred
myeck's immigrant father had a hard time getting established when he arrived in America. but the plucky little foreigner still dutifully put aside some of his money each month and eventually was able to bring over his younger brother.
myeck never got a chance to know the man, however, as he moved into the country and became obsessed with the white supremicist movement. 

He even attempted to start his own branch of the Ku Klux Klan, with membership limited to people from the Old Country. Respendent in their robes, which he designed himself based on a traditional design and his misunderstanding of the word Klan, they had no problem gaining members, but were puzzled by the fact that their parades didn't seem to upset anyone, attracting not protests but invitations to entertain sick children at local hospitals.

Not a Clown

After one particularly uncontroversial parade, some members of the local school board saw him in his costume, figured he was already halfway to being a basketball coach, and made the job offer that totally changed his life. 

As it turns out, he was a natural. His teams consistently posted mediocre records, but his impassioned speeches, spiced with occasional words in his native tongue, convinced people that he knew what he was doing. He began to develop a national reputation as an innovator. 

Having a national audience stimulated him to look at the larger issues around the country. This new perspective coincided with a major event in American sports: the introduction of black players into professional basketball. 

A nerve touched, the immigrant coach sprang into action.

After many months spent theorizing, plotting, and drawing cryptic designs on blackboards, myeck's immigrant uncle finally announced his new method to the world.

The method was based on the theory that if white players were taught special new techniques, they would dominate the sport so completely that black players would simply give up. Called White Basketball Style, the new method was enthusiastically received by white coaches around the country. So successful was White Basketball Style that today, nearly every white player in the country uses it.

A fine demonstration of White basketball style.